The invitation to lobby at our state capitol regardless of your experience or expertise was an invigorating dive into citizen lobbying.  On the first day of the conference after riding a bus from Baltimore to DC, I was sitting along side youth just out of college, some still in college, boomers like me, and non profit community leaders.

Together, in one morning we created a dialogue that said loud and clear: we are a community united for equality.  I left feeling I had done something good, met good people and made a difference with just a few hours invested.  I have been involved in lobbying before, but was so impressed with the organizations ability to do a two hour training and ready us to be effective in front of senators, congress members and staffers.  Seeing 300 people with their purple and pink badges descend from the buses and head up the capitol steps was a picture I won’t soon forget.

I learned how important our individual stories are to helping politicians have examples to support their positions when they agree with the policies we are proposing and how important our stories are to educate and potentially persuade those who can’t see the urgency of our requests. I learned about how the laws protecting women from violence were insensitive to same gender couples finding many turned away at the very shelters made for their safety.  I learned about how people in Washington are using states rights as an excuse for non intervention and deliniation on bullying in schools and how they use ‘putting burdens on business” to avoid signing on to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the Fair Paycheck Act.  One staffer quoted his senator by saying ‘he doesn’t see why we need the Fair Paycheck Act when we have the equal pay amendment”.  We then pointed out that we’ve had that for decades and still women are paid 77c on the dollar to men with blacks at 70c and Latina’s trailing at 66c.  Clearly the equal pay act needs more teeth.

During the conference, we heard from members of the administration about the work they are doing in the Department of Health and Human Services, especially in the area of aging and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered peoples needs.  From the office of the Secretary of State we heard the reiteration of our country’s commitment to human rights around the world including those of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.  On a local level, we heard from the mayor of Baltimore about his personal commitment to seeing Transgender people safe and thriving in his city.

I attended workshops and experiences as diverse as relating the chakras to our personal development and the movement for equality, a trans denominational service and how to talk with family and friends about politics, sex and religion with effective compassion.

The most important and deeply alarming information I received at the conference, was that there are state laws that have been passed and more proposed, that will result in suppressing the vote of up to 5 million people.  These laws relate to new requirements for identification to register to  vote and to vote at the ballot box and these regulations affect those who are most likely to vote in a socially progressive way.  For example, in Florida when President Obama was elected there were 500,000 votes that were placed by those who had served prison time.  A new law in Florida would exempt these people who have paid their debt to society from participating as voters.  In another law that was passed in a southern state, an African American woman in her eighties was denied the right to vote after having done so faithfully for more than 50 years, because she could not produce an original version of her birth certificate! (It had burned in a fire some years earlier and was unavailable to her).  I am moved to learn more about these laws and do my part this election year to make sure they don’t meet their apparent purpose.

The message about voter suppression, and the recognition that our LGBT equality movement is not just about marriage but about immigration, jobs, housing, healthcare, poverty, homelessness, incarceration, adoption,social security and other long term spousal benefits— came from two sources.  The leader of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, who eloquently and fiercely called us to action and the leader of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.  This historic unity, of two civil rights leaders, demonstrating engagement,  friendship, respect and passion for each others commitments and concerns was a shattering of segregation and a bringing in of the beloved community of which Dr. King spoke in a way I never imagined in my life time.

Immersed in an environment of thousands of people (a majority of them under 25),  I saw the leaders of leather nation, Indian nations, the state department, faith leaders, corporate leaders all under the same roof for the same reason. We were all present to gain more understanding and to clarify our personal and collective actions.  While there we experienced true, ‘radical’ inclusion. The meeting floors had entirely gender neutral restrooms, there were hospitality suites for different ethnicitys, religions, physical abilities and gender identity and expression.  There was a room for prayer and for meditation, a Shabbat service, a Muslim Friday prayer, the calling of the names of those we have lost… If any one wants to know what true inclusion looks like this is the place to be.

My heart and mind are full and I have been made better by this experience.  Seeing the ‘angels of our better nature’ in over 3000 people is beyond inspiring, it is a shining light on what is possible for our future.  There is a final image I am left with: a young man receiving the youth leadership award even as he fears deportation says “ I accept this award but all I can think about is all those who wanted to be here but could not be here because they are undocumented and afraid, this is an equality movement issue, please don’t call us illegal, no human being is illegal. “ And he took his award and his standing ovation and went back to fighting for the rights of those who only want to be free.

I am diving into work projects, writing projects, making new contracts and contacts, revising my website and trying to decide how to re-launch it, singing every chance I get, participating in a fitness challenge and remembering to breathe.

Every year we have a tradition of making dream boards, some people call them vision maps, others intentions but the idea is the same.  You choose images and words from magazines that represent concepts and experiences you want to bring into this year.  It is fun and effective for learning what is really on your mind and heart.  I’ve been doing these boards for over 20 years and have loved seeing the changes in me as reflected in what I desire.

My first boards were full of material things in my twenties and gradually the material disappeared to make way for the experiences and circumstances of life.  Now you’ll find emotions, states of being and qualities on my board, the details have faded and I create a picture of health, joy, laughter, prosperity, giving and growing.  This year we will get to our group in California to late in the year to do this ritual with them so we’re going to invite some Ptown pals to join us and set up  a group skype with our west coast friends.  Should be fun, energizing and I’m curious what I’ll see on my brightly colored poster board this year.

Cheers to you!

Today I have nothing scheduled on my calendar.  Nothing at all and this is very rare.  I am staying in my PJs  because I can…sitting cross legged in bed typing on my new iPad looking out on the Provincetown bay .   I am enjoying a cup of my Gano Cafe made with both coffee and special mushroom extracts ~not that kind of special~.  This is a perfect time.

Brian Greene talks about how we are obsessed with time, past and future especially, rarely the present moment.  The way we came up with our concepts of time was by observation.  As human beings we noticed that the light changed during the day and the sun seemed to move in the sky.  At night we saw the same configuration of stars and began to notice the moon rising.  Eventually our science let us know that the earth was rotating and we could call a full rotation one day.  Then by the appearance of the sun we could call its position in the sky a particular time.

The thing was, since we were arbitrarily naming certain positions of the sun as noon or three in the afternoon or dawn or six am, we began to organize ourselves around it and instead of just rising when the sun rose and tucking in when it went down, we  began  putting ourselves on an arbitrary schedule.

The arbitrary schedule was different in different regions and when trains came along we had to set a  clock that everyone followed so they could know in one town to the next when to expect the train.  And so our modern lives tied to being on the right track at the right time with no care for the sun, the moon , the stars or the tides all of natures ‘clocks.”

The program went on to delve into time travel through worm holes and black holes and time folding in on itself.   Apparently the math equations don’t rule out that everything is happening in the same moment and theoretically we can experience past as present and future as present if we understood how to access it.

Instead of being curious about my past or my future, I find myself in this moment loving living in a place where low tide means on friday’s and sundays you can go out clamming near the breakwater.

Our lead is Irene Adler and she has quite a conversation with a committee in her own head which is funny and I can completely relate. She is a straight forward academic anthropologist who is bored with her less than inspiring students and her less than inspiring life so she takes an assignment to solve a mystery for her former professor and the location is Nepal.

I am an avid traveler and love to read about places before I go. I am intrigued by the sights, sounds and happenings of this mysterious part of the globe. In the main story you have Margo who was an academic but is now caught up in the religious practicies and civil disobedience of the more progressive society. She has lost her objectivity and Irene is concerned .. maybe even her mind, as she goes on a search for an ancient goddess and the trail of death that seems to surround her.

Have a good time with this book, its characters and the wonder of a place that is rich with the ancient, the modern and the wisdom of the Hindu and the Buddhist alike. I even appreciated the travel tips.. I will drink bottled water when I make it to Nepal!

Christie Hardwick

Transport yourself to today and we eat food that is not naturally available, not naturally grown, not naturally digested and we are living in a nutrient deficient world.  Some of us are privileged to get organic foods or grow our own, but the vast majority of the world has their food supply controlled by a few corporate giants.  In essence our move to agriculture as industry has resulted in a decline in our food supply.  A decline in quality, in access and appropriateness.

The key is to get the most nutrient dense fresh foods to those who need them and to avail ourselves of the abundance where we are fortunate enough to have it.  This requires those with education, means and opportunity to be demanding consumers to change the food industry which seems to be hard of hearing.

On a lighter note,  apparently my love of all things Italian is justified.  It turns out that the Medici women who married french kings brought the first Italian chefs to France who in turn were the beginning of what we now consider “French” Cuisine!

I’m on a fast for the next week.  I’m not sure what you’d call it, vegan sort of with a splash of cottage cheese, vegetarian for sure except what exactly are hemp hearts?

My morning begins with a huge salad, spinach, fenuch,radish,cucumber, tomato,carrot and five to six tablespoons of hemphearts.  The dressing is lemon or lime with garlic and cayenne pepper.  Sound delicious?  Exactly.  It’s actually not bad its just that I have trained my mind to want stuff thats not so simple.

I don’t know about you but I was raised on my family’s comfort food.  For us, on a great day that was fried chicken, greens and hot water cornbread, on my least favorite day it was meatloaf and peas.  The peas always ended up in the orange plastic bowl in the center of the table.  The bowl was filled with plastic fruit, the bananas looked pretty fake but the peaches had realistic fuzz on them.  My mother never mentioned the peas so I imagine that bowl never got cleaned and maybe peas just become green dust at some point.

I digress.  For the longest time I tried to fight putting on any weight.  I would eat lightly and never took a bite after 7 p.m.  But over the years my weight would fluctuate 20-30 pounds and I associated being slim with being without.  I knew how to loose weight– I just needed to not eat or drink everything I wanted to eat or drink.  Now all you weight watcher groupies don’t get  your panties in a bunch!  I know I can count points and have what ever I want until it adds up to 27, but the trouble is –a dirty martini is already 10 points, I mean come on!

Ok.  This is not going well.  Somehow my relationship with food was never about feeding my body.  It was always about feeding my emotions, my mind and my heart.  Food feels good, wine tastes good and cocktails are just lovely.

I confess this because I know this is a very privileged problem and its not about food or drink or even body image.  It’s about luxury and having a life that is still so free and abundant that I can put on weight.  It’s about reaching for something to soothe when life seems challenging and you can’t catch your breath.  It’s about being afraid to die and afraid to fully live at the same time.  I probably should not publish this, it is not uplifting or even helpful,  but it is where I am in this moment.

I read that many people in the U.S. are suffering from consumptive malnutrition.  This means we eat a lot of stuff that has no nutritional value.  I on the other hand eat mostly good stuff  (organic, local etc..) except for when I eat salame and sausage and other ridiculously yummy things that bring me joy and make me fat.  So I will do a fast and lose some pounds and feel good for a while and then I’ll want some food that I love and we will begin again.  Me and my body, me and my comforts and me and my fears.

And what is the great fear? That really I am a child of  the Universe, no less than the trees or the stars and I am endowed with characteristics of intelligence, beauty, light, love, health, peace and prosperity.  This makes me want to swallow…because if I’m all that, I’m probably supposed to get out of the way and let it flow from me and take me where my soul needs to go.  If I really am made of divine stuff then I should act like it…The thing is– I have a lot of work to do ..to really trust that which created me more than I trust home made Italian sausage with fennel seeds.  Sigh.

Most americans would say that our government seems to be failing along with our education system and the delivery of health care– as just a few examples.  In spite of this I know that there are many, really good people doing their best inside those systems.  We are caviler about trashing politicians and lumping them altogether as if they are all the same.  Many of the men and women serving in local, state and federal government offices are or were once your neighbors and care deeply about the same things that you do.  In the press everyday you read about how poorly our education is serving our children and our future.  And yet so many of the thousands of teachers who went to school for the privilege of being underpaid to teach and care for the nations children, are doing their best and are often sacrificing their own families to do it.  In the healthcare system that is underfire from every sector, many health care workers are doing their best to provide healing services.

So if there are all these good people in these systems slugging away everyday, why are the systems failing?  I think this is where we should begin our conversations, not with how stupid or wrong a politician is but about what is wrong with the set up? Not with how incompetent our teachers are but what expectations do we have and are we providing the right kind of resources to have them met?  And not bemoaning how poor the health of the nation is and the cost and availability of surgery, medications and interventions but why is it so?

I for one intend not to call names, sling arrows or place blame.  I’m looking for the right questions and for how I can contribute to the right answers.

Shakespeare’s plays are said to answer three fundamental questions:

• What does it mean to be alive?
• How shall we act?
• What must I do?

As I explore these questions for myself, I have come to understand these as basic truths:

• We are all made of the same stuff
• We all live on the same planet
• What each of us thinks, says and does matters to the whole.

Here are my thoughts and I look forward to hearing yours.

I was just introduced to the woman I will have the opportunity learn with and to mentor and I anticipate an amazing journey and I am deeply humbled. As I sit in a beautiful place, with so much opportunity and freedom, I recognize that any complaints I have about my life are somewhat of an insult to those who continue to struggle for basic quality of life, true freedom and peace in the place where they live.

Although we have our share of problems in the United States, we have had no civil war for over a 150 years and have not experienced the true effects of war in the physical sense. We have tremendous disparity in the quality of life for people in our country but even for the least privileged it is rare not to have clean water and access to food.

Although I have some days that seem more difficult than others, truly any problem I have is in my own mind and the way that I am perceiving my situation Just being on this site helps me to rise above my small mindedness and keep the larger picture in mind, ‘a world that works for everyone.’

I look forward to becoming a better global citizen, if only the first step is to keep my mind free of complaint and full of gratitude.