Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 10

  Chapter 10 Releasing Shame and Guilt I have this dream of releasing shame and guilt before I release the weight.  In my imagination this is the only way for it to stay off.  Accepting myself as I am is not denial or a cop out or even laziness, it is the only way forward […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 9

  Chapter 9.  Loving myself as I am I want to learn to love myself fully, in spite of being ‘grassata’ as the Italian man whispered to his colleague as they passed me on the street… “bella mais molto grassatta’  beautiful but too fat.  Can I see my inner beauty enough to accept my outer […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 8

  Chapter 8.  The Consequences The consequences for carrying this 50 pound sack of extra me have not been consistently motivating.  They motivate me when I have to be in a bathing suit or when I’m going to see folks I haven’t seen in a while or when I think how I don’t want my […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 7

  Chapter 7.  The scale doesn’t lie   The scale doesn’t lie but I don’t ask it questions that often.   Mostly the scale has delivered disappointing news.  When it delivered good news, I dreaded getting back on it to make sure all was still well and usually it wasn’t .  If I didn’t weigh myself […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 6

  Chapter 6.  Did I say I love food? My love of food started in my childhood when my mother or step dad, Pappy- would make delectable foods like collard greens, hot water corn bread, fried chicken or barbecue ribs.  My love of food was reinforced by Pappy’s runs to the commissary and the sight […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 5

  Chapter 5.  I am addicted to pleasure Buying art, wearing beautiful things, having my toes done, getting a massage, watching a good movie (especially with good popcorn), sharing a meal with someone I love, sleeping in, afternoon sex, enjoying an unscheduled day, finishing a project, coloring, singing, dancing, playing my ukulele, reading a good […] Read more »

Why I Carry a Fifty Pound Sack of Extra Me – Part 4

  Chapter 4.  I don’t exercise enough.   I love to sit and read.  And sit and write and sit and think and sit and work and it leaves little time to move.  I will walk most days for about 30 minutes which mostly lets me maintain my current configuration, unless we go on an […] Read more »

The Four Levels of Fitness (Part 3 of 3)

Spiritual and Physical

  Let me go back to where I started.  I have decided get fit not because I believed there is a right food or exercise plan but because I believed I am worthy of the investment and I am led by the love and appreciation for my life to treat it differently, loving myself in […] Read more »

The Four Levels of Fitness (Part 2 of 3)

emotional fitness

At different times in my life I had different measures of what fitness looked like and what mattered. When I was very young I never gave it a thought, my body and my life just was and I moved through my days expecting things to work. When I was 17 and found I had to […] Read more »

The Four Levels of Fitness (Part 1 of 3)

Mental Fitness

How many of you have challenged yourself to be more fit? There are many different ways that experts describe fitness.  Some focus on strength and flexibility, others take it to another level and look at the connective tissue and even the free movement of the cells. My way of thinking of fitness is ‘responsible’ I […] Read more »